Fiction: The beginning of the end.

She remembered the first year she did not win the best cadet award. She denied the fact that age interfered in her candidature. She had won the best cadet award for 4 years in a row. She had craved for a 5th one, but had lost it in a close call to that tiny chit of a rookie who was hailed to be the next her. She remembered rushing back home after the ceremony (almost unceremoniously), only to stand and stare at her full length mirror wondering - Is this the beginning of the end?

She opened the envelope lying on the table counter next to the mirror:

Dear Anya,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to join St. Stephen's business academy for the undergraduate program.........


She thought back to the nastiest fight she had ever had with David. The fact that this was her first major fight and not just a clash of ideologies disturbed her. What bugged her even more was that even after the nastiest of all fights so far, either he or she herself had sucked up to the fact that it did not matter and had pulled the sorry line first. Now, the simple silly fact that they hadn't made up, let alone made out for almost a whole quarter of a year was bugging the life out of her. She remembered sitting by her mirror on her stool waiting for the phone to ring in her crammed room wondering - Is this the beginning of the end?

She looked at the white envelope lying on her dressing table with tears in her eyes. Of all the things, she had stupid credit card offers to tear up now. She opened the envelope and something fell out of it with a clank. She opened the letter and read it out of instinct:

Dearest Anya,
Marry me....

She reflected back to the first time she consciously felt her heart flutter when she played the stock market. She was called the 'Midas touch' madame for a reason. But like all good things that can ever happen to a person, her bullish run had turned bearish the 12th year she was in the game. The pressure from her corporate counterparts and the media was getting to her nerves. For instance, she remembered this one particular day when the headlines of the top magazine read: Is there an oil slick in 'Midas touch' madame's backyard? Her 'oily' investments had become the butt of a joke in the Street these days. She sat on her dressing stool pondering into her favourite mirror if she had done the right thing at all or if this is just the beginning of the end?
A few moments later, her red faced 8 year old rushed in shouting 'Mommy' 'Mommy' the letterman dropped this off for you. Her heart raced in anticipation as she grew to understand the pattern around her life. She tore the envelope in earnest and it read:

Murphy Page,
M.D Rockwell Oil Enterprises,
SA.

Mrs Anya,
We are pleased to inform you of our discovery of about 300,000 acres of crude oil deposits in TZ. Your fruit of labour in helping us VC our endeavour is greatly appreciated. We will start our payments as agreed upon ...

Sixty years had since passed when she first felt both anticipation and anguish in her heart beat. The grand kids were pooled all around her for instance and were chiding her even this very moment for not taking good care of her health. She asked them to politely leave her alone as she needed to rest. She stood in the loneliness of her bedroom in front of her mirror and replayed the white coat's words again and again in her head. Her whole life began to unreel in front of her as she reflected on her many doings and undoings. She smiled at herself as one last thought struck her - This really was the beginning of the end now wasn't it? There was no going back after this. She opened the envelope on her table sighing: "This time you have it all wrong God".

All My Children Institute of Oncology
PA

Dear Anya,
In lieu of the advanced stage of your condition, we would like to schedule your first appt. with Dr. Nikolai Bruderov. Dr. Nikolai is a reputed ....

She wiped her tears and gave a thumbs up to the 'man above' and told him that he won the bet in the end. She was after all going to see her Nikki before she passed. Her very own beloved Nikki, her first love...finally... after all these years, if at all for a few days/hours/minutes... Thank you God she smiled, as she settled on her bed. Tomorrow was just another day.

Song: Moonlight Sonata (Artist: Beethoven)
Mood: Zoning out.

Fiction

She put the phone down and went inside to tidy her hairdo. The newly weds were waiting outside their house and she was to do the honours of giving them a traditional welcome; what was called the 'gruhapravesam' in one too many languages.

When she ascended the stairs and saw the newly married couple all tensed and apprehensive, she decided to calm their frayed nerves by giving them her best Aunt Agony smile. She chit-chatted with the man for a minute, only to figure out that he was as tongue tied as the dame next to him. She stepped forward, held her hand out to congratulate the young girl on her wedding. A pale, lithe yet warm hand came forward and held hers as if holding a flower, oh so delicately. The effect was however almost immediate, sending shock waves rippling down the steel nerves in her. She did not know what to say, but smiled a weak smile and headed inside.

She completed the rest of the welcome in a zombie like manner. She was getting quite used to the feeling anyways. It was...zombie like. She parted company soon afterwards taking giant strides to cover the distance back to her house. Once in her safe zone, she stumbled towards her bedroom, turned on the light, fell backwards on her bed and gazed upwards wondering...How long?? How long had it been since she saw a face of innocence? How long had it been since she had connected with that particular state of mind?

She pictured herself as the 22 year old she once was. The starry eyed young woman, with dreams to dream of, life to live and work to do. Oh yes, that starry eyed woman had a certain shyness and a sweet innocence to her. But, boy, the quickest lesson she had learnt in life, was giving these two qualities up, if she needed to survive.

She stared at the ceiling as tears trickled downwards unbeknownst to her. She did not even begin to reason with her tear glands, but continued staring upwards. In the dim light somewhere in the middle of the night, she realized why she was welling up. She wanted to get back to being that young girl who had once walked into a house filled with strangers and consequently made it home. Just this time, she wanted to retain those two emotions, she had so willingly given up to get to where she was now. She wanted the demure coyness back. She wanted the lush innocence back. She wanted her life back.

Song: Requiem for a Dream (OST - by Clint Mansell)
Mood: Weirded out

and so I figured....

a) I figured yestereve that Spring onions are the new coriander/cilantro.

b) I figured yestereve that my sis really enjoys her bead work.

c) I figured yestereve that its not too bad to wear solid colours. That is me and I cannot change overnight and wear shocking pink. It is just not me. I'd rather blend with the earth and be one among the many grains of sand.

d) I figured yestereve that movies are really fictional. There is no such thing as a real movie.

e) I figured yestereve that I have made a habit of re-reading paragraphs of a book I've previously read from cover to cover.

f) I figured yestereve that I am probably the only person on this earth who can truly understand myself.

g) I figured yestereve that I can always depend on this one wonderful person for life...myself.

Mood: Angry
Song: LFG (Artist: Satch)

My first snow of the season

My apartment's backyard is filled with beautiful white stuff glistening like diamonds in the moonlight. Its 12 deg. F outside my house. I feel at peace at last...

Mood: At peace
Song: Moonlight Sonata - Mvt 1 (Artist: Beethoven)

Instincts....

1:26 A.M in the morning on a working week is a weird time to post on a blog; atleast for me...But, the turn of events this night have made me necessitate documenting them. Someday, if I want to remember one among the many things in life, it is tonight's events...

For starters, it turned out to be a usual weekend of baddy practice and puri palya followed by an early tuck in for me. My conversation with my parents was as usual as ever, with the exception to the fact that my mother was stirring up a storm with some lip smacking food for R. I'm genuinely happy for him, for my sis and for my mom. After some self-introspection, I quickly dozed off. I was asleep for say 1 odd hour, when I suddenly woke up and had the crazy desire to logon to my email account and say hi to one of my BFFs; a woman who has been a pillar of strength to me through my worst and who has laughed with me through my best. I logon to my email account see an unread email from her right on top of my unread email and what more can I say?? Here I was in the next few minutes, calling her up with tears in my eyes, so genuinely happy for her and congratulating her on her soon to be blissfully married state.

I can still hear the ring in her voice as I type. I can still feel the happiness and joy she emanated when she told me, that she was speaking to her man and telling me that she was liking the whole idea of speaking to him. So, I dedicate this post and quite a few more posts to come to this wonderful woman who has found the man she wants to share her life with. May she have all the joys in the world and twice as much happiness.

On a side note, I cannot believe the strong connection I have with the people I love and care about. This for e.g...why would I (the sound, deep sleeper that I am) wake up in the middle of the night with the intent of chatting up with a girlfriend and that too on a Sunday night? Oh, do not get the wrong intention, its not that that I don't want to speak to her. Its just the timing and the waking up from slumber to speak to the right people part that I find spooky. I've had this connection many a times with many other loved ones and I'm beginning to understand it and like it as well. It makes me feel powerful, loved and connected.

Enough about me now. I have always been selfish about the songs I hear and labeled almost all of them as my songs. Today I can't think of anything else, other than dedicating this beautiful melody to a great confidante, a lovable cuddly girlfriend and a very sauve, sexy and naughty woman who has just met her match. Here's to you Ranj....Oh...knowing your taste in music, I'm sure you will approve of the song I am gifting you and knowing your penchant for teen vampire romances :P, I'm sure you will approve of the movie as well :)

Music: The river flows in you (Artist: Yiruma; Movie: Twilight)
Mood: Elated/Teary eyed (with utmost happiness)/ Emotional.

As the dough rises...

Like a true Bond loyalist I was at the Bond flick(Quantum of Solace) last night. All I have to say about it is 22 down, 23rd to go. No Bond cliches, no Bond gizmos, no MI6 action, no psychopathic villains who claim they can rule the world, no crazy stunts like jumping off a motobike to get on a plane, no spunky one-liners, no Bond..James Bond, no Bond theme music!. Even the babes who I envied once upon a time looked quite boring. What's worse is Bond's started losing class by drinking beer on screen!
These last two Bond movies have been very unconventional and I'm beginning to suspect that Barbara Broccoli is experimenting with Bond's alter ego - this new guy I'm watching on big screen.

As for the theater frenzy, Bond still hasn't lost his charm. There were a lot of people like me who scrambled for seats at the word "go" and were looking forward to some real butt kicking action. The theaters were packed to the brim and many of us had to resort to seats at the very front. Almost every one in the crowd put on long faces towards the end of the movie. Sigh..I wish the Bond franchise will take matters seriously and not disappoint with "Bond 23".

Talking about alter egos, S's alter ego was listening to Rihanna sing "Don't stop the music" this morning. I'm sure S will say puhff..w/e...

Oh...there goes the clock. The dough has risen and I'm ready to share my pineapple peach upside down cake with the world.

Mood - Groovy and a tad pissed off.
Song - Don't stop the music [Artist - Rihanna]

And the yaan ratna goes to....

Sap: "Daddy, this is ridiculous. Its getting late. The sports meet starts at 8:45. It is 8:15 and it takes 30 mins to get to the stadium... I have my 400m finals as the first event and I'll lose the championship if I don't make it on time. Why can't he get started early???".
One kick by his side...the jerk. At 2:00 P.M the same day, I'm proudly carrying my championship and traveling back home like a queen. I look happy.

Sap: "Daddy, I can't believe it. I have my boards. This is one of the biggest things in my life(how wrong I was about that..come to think of it over the years...). It is my math exam and I can't get there in time??? I'm taking an auto. That's it.".
Daddy: "Wait ma. Don't worry. Why are you getting tensed. I will get you in time. Has he ever failed you???? Ever??? Tell me??"
Sap: "Daddy, I can count the number of instances when he has failed me. I can even count the instances when he has failed you or Mummy or Pati or Pri...I can't believe it!".
Another kick by his side...the jerk. Its 2:00 P.M. I come home...I look excited and tensed at the same time..
Sap: "Daddy, it was a bad bad paper...it was tough...."
Daddy: " If it was tough for you. It was tough for everyone else". I look happy.

Pri: "Daddy, I like to sit in front and feel the wind on my face. I am so happy."
Sap: "Ma, why should she always have so much fun. Why am I sitting crushed between the two of you and she can stand and have fun???"
Ma: "Ssh..don't shout. Pri might hear it. But, you are in a better position trust me. You can fall asleep though the journey and not bother about falling down. How kewler can you get???" - I feel convinced at least for that moment and don't raise another question.
After the journey: I've had my brief siesta and I step down. My sis jumps down almost simultaneously. She has a grin on her face. Her hair is in a tussle and she looks like she has been in a roller coaster ride and had the best time of her life. I think about how I look - kewl, prim and proper. I am happy. I can still remember my sister's smile on her face. She looked happy.

Daddy: "Looks like we have to buy some more cement. We seem to have run short of just two bags of cement for the mortar at the last minute". Two hours later...we're roofing the house..hoorah. Its a big day in our lives. My dad looks at us and smiles. He looks happy.

Mummy: "I have to go to pipeline and get the wheat grounded and all the pudis done by today. We can't wait for better weather than this." Two hours later she's back with not only the chappati flour, but also the milagai pudi, which to my sister and my chagrin is being spread out in the pooja room. We're cursing everything around us, because we can't sleep at night now as our room is annex the pooja room and if you've slept with your nose smelling milagai pudi all night, you my friends will know what I am talking about... Its pouring outside and from the looks of it, it will pour for another 2-3 days continuously. She smiles at my dad and tells him that they made it in time. He smiles back and gives a look of understanding. It looks like they shared a secret under our noses that the two dodos aka my sis and I could not fathom for the years to come. My mother is happy.

Pati: "Abba, un vandi la poraddu onne, kudura vaalu pidichikinu poraddu onne".
We all burst out laughing in unison. We look genuinely happy.

Sridhar Mama: "Sapsi, he has starting problem"
Sapsi: Rolling her eyes. Why am I not surprised? "I have to go for my tuitions. Now what?"
Sridhar Mama: "Its not like you won't reach. You just have to do some sahasam."
Sapsi: I'm beginning to not like this idea at all. "I'll take the auto, if this is tough. What should I do?"
Sridhar Mama: "As I said before, starting problem. I will run with him down the slope and jump on him when the timing is right. All you have to do is follow me and jump on him when your time comes."
This is like a mini adventure on my way to Physics class. Come to think of it, I can learn something about motion and reactions perhaps.
I'm now angry, but excited at the same time. I've never jumped on a moving thing . With feigned reluctance I agree and nod my head.
What pursued next can be best described as precisive execution of premeditated events watched by an earnest crowd aka me, dad, mom, sis, athe, thatha, pati and a couple of neighbours.
Mama began to run from my house down the road with him and sat up on him, in an attempt to get him started..... But, he abso refused to start. Mama pushed him back home and did this 3 more times, but to no avail. We were beginning to tire. I was really agitated and was begging ma to let me go by auto. But, Athe, Thatha and Mama were being most adamant.
I thought of kicking him once on the side, but quickly shunned the idea as there were too many onlookers.... I'd exact my revenge later I thought.
Thatha, then proposed that Mama move further up the road and try from there. Mama, as I know him, is not one who easily gives up on such things. He decided to try Thatha's tactic. He walked him up to Santhu's house, repeated the same exercise from Santhosh's house and the tactic worked. I thought he was emitting a lot of smoke and making a lot of noise. But, now was not the time for thought. It was a time for action. Every body's eyes were already on me. All I had to do was jump on him when the time was right. I chose what I thought was a perfect launch location and with beautiful precision, I managed to do so with Mama nearing. Having mounted my stead successfully, I turned back and gave a giant wave to the onlookers who were laughing their guts outs. All of us looked happy.

I outlined all these incidents with the intention of introducing a very important part of my large family. My father's beloved "Bajaj Chetak 150". Come rain or sunshine, the Bajaj has been a vital part of my family, standing by us through crisis and good times and never failing under any circumstances (almost...). It has lived a life of its own amidst us, been subject to a lot of abuses and excruciating circumstances (not to mention my kicks and my sister's jabs..). It has remained unwavering through all this and continues to be a loyal subject of interest.

I love my Bajaj almost like an older brother and have never considered it to be an inanimate object. That's why the kicks and jabs to go with the love, hugs and kisses mind you. So, if at all there was a yaan ratna, I believe my dad's vehicle would deserve it and much more.

Having said all this, I leave this post with a very emotional message. Something that my ma, my sis and I have sung many a times to one another and mostly to and sometimes with my dad - Yeh Zameen Yeh Aasmaan. Hamara kal, hamara aaj. Hamara kal, hamara aaj. Buland Bharat ki Buland Tasveer. Hamara Bajaj. Hamara Bajaj..

This leaves me teary eyed and sometimes bawling. I suggest all of you take a look at it and share my sentiments to some extent:



Say the ad, went through a change to suit modern times as I call it and here is the remixed version, which i think is kinda kewl too. I bet it will strike a chord with the GEN Y folks...



Song: Yeh zameen yeh aasman [Title song: Hamara Bajaj ad movie]
Mood: Nostalgic and happy.